How the Panda Got its Black Eyes

In this cartoon we see a member of the giant panda species, a species indigenous to China. What is unique about this specific panda however is that it appears to be in an extreme state of rage, squinting its eyes and baring its teeth at anyone who dares get in its way. To the reader it appears the panda is gazing directly into his or her eyes, and on the verge of launching an attack so deadly that the chances of survival are little to none. The panda’s disguise as a Chinese Olympian fools no one, and his twitching upper lip makes the reader even more suspicious of its motives. The artist who drew this cartoon intended to demonstrate to the public that animals will stop at nothing to destroy the human race, and no matter how cute or sweet said animals appear on the outside, there is a bitter core inside.
There are many spirals forcing their way out of the panda's skull, most likely he is imagining human boats swirling in a giant whirlpool, the sailors screaming in terror as they are thrown overboard and into the dark depths of the ocean. In addition to this however, there are also three thought bubbles each containing a different part of the panda's plan to destroy the human race.
The first thought bubble says "censorship," this is defined as the authorship or authority of a Roman censor. A Censor was a high ranking official in the ancient Roman Republic, responsible for maintaining the census, supervising public morality, and overseeing the government's finances. If you can believe it, this panda plans to become a high ranking official, and although laughable it is actually more achievable than you would expect. In World War II, 62 animals received the "Dickin Medal" a medal awarded for gallantry during a time of war. The medal was awarded to 32 pigeons, 18 dogs, 3 horses, and 1 cat. With this high ranking office, the panda would most likely appoint other animals who are bent on destroying the human race.

The second bubble says "pollution," which is an episode from the popular British television series "The Goodies." In said episode, the Goodies seed clouds with grass seeds in an attempt to overcome the contamination of the planet by factories. In an unexpected twist however, everyone begins to grow grass instead of hair, and the entire world is littered with grass making it impossible to drive on the roads which cannot be seen under the abundant fields of grass. After becoming the Roman censor and laying waste to the human race, the panda would destroy what we have worked so hard to build, replacing buildings and roads with the forests that were once in their place before human influence.
The third thought bubble contains the word "repression" which illustrates the third and final step of the panda's plan. Repression means to decrease the rate of gene expression, which is to stop particular genes from producing protein. This frightful beast plans on experimenting biologically on humans after he has put them into captivity. By performing endless tests and dissections on our species, the panda species will gain knowledge of how to interact with the world on a molecular level, and by this point his potential will be endless. It will not be long before humans are being sent into space in place of the real panda astronauts to test the latest panda space shuttles.
Is the cartoonist stating that our species will be destroyed by the foreign panda menace regardless of what action we take? Yes. As the reader gazes into the panda's evil face, curved into a permanent snarl, they find it hard to breathe, gasp for air, and try to look away, but alas they cannot. The reader's heart rate increases and their breathing becomes heavy, they know that they are face to face with a creature that would not hesitate to rip out their throat and feed it to its cubs at a moments notice. As the reader slowly regains control by telling themselves that this is only a picture and that such a panda does not exist, they realize that the cartoonist has done an excellent job of getting his message across. This is the exact response that the author intended, and any other explanation is completely false.

Where To Drill

In this cartoon we see a horse, turning what appears to be a wheel that will slowly drill a giant screw into a small man’s head, killing him in a very untasteful bloodbath. To the untrained eye, there is little to no practicality in a machine that only consists of giant screw, supported by interweaving metal bars. To the more educated viewer however, it is not a screw at all but a giant supercomputer using technology similar to that of Marvin the Martian’s gun, in the popular Looney Toons television program. The artist distinctly places a box in the top left corner that reads “Not Drilling,” this is important because it indicates to the reader that the horse is not actually drilling into the man’s head but performing a complex and intricate procedure.
The horse on the left hand side of the cartoon is a reference by the cartoonist to the Chinese zodiac. The horse is described by the Chinese zodiac as “very quick-witted and is right in there with you before you have had the chance to finish what you are saying: he's on to the thought in your mind even before you've expressed it.” This goes along exactly with what is shown in the cartoon, by utilizing this enormous supercomputer, the horse is able to gain access to all of the man’s thoughts and memories.
This cartoon obviously takes place in the future, considering that the horse is in the process of using a device based on the gun from a science fiction television show. Other examples to further support this are that anti-gravity technology has apparently been developed, as is indicated by the hard hat floating above the horse’s head. Another of the author’s hints that this is in fact the future is that the underground pipe infrastructure has become so crowded that we are in a situation where we must build pipes that alternate between being above and below ground in order to prevent them from interfering with other critical utilities.
There appears to be an American flag pinned to the man’s chest, however there is one crucial difference between this and an actual American flag. In the American flag there are 13 stripes to represent the 13 original colonies, on this man’s pseudo flag however, there are only 6 stripes. Does this represent 6 of the original 13 colonies? Or does it represent something else, something much, much, worse? I know for a fact that the cartoonist intended the later of these two options. In the bible, the number seven stands for completeness from God’s standpoint. Therefore, the number six, which falls short of the number seven, stands for things that fall short of God's standards. The number 666, (a triple six) represents gross imperfection from God's standpoint. The man shown in the cartoon is obviously part of a satanic extremist group, as indicated by his flag pin. Most likely this satanic extremist was captured by the horse race, due to a failed attempt to feed their leader poisoned sugar cubes from the palm of his hand. After the supercomputer has finished probing the man’s brain, he will become a slave for the horse race, doing work for them that would be impossible due to the lack of opposable thumbs.
As the horse in the picture turns the wheel, three “squeek” noises are produced. This is an allusion to a television series made by Animal Planet titled “Meerkat Manor.” This television series follows the daily activity of a group of wild meerkats, small rodent-like mammals. In this series, squeek was the smallest pup in his litter with Bubble. He survived the Commando attack and it was said the spirit of Big Cy lives on in him. The spirit of “big cy” is obviously another way of saying “big sigh,” which emphasizes the horse’s boredom in the cartoon. The horse is shown with his eyes closed, and is obviously struggling to stay awake. This is a reference to “sleeping at the wheel,” or sleeping while driving, which is a common side effect of many widely prescribed sleeping pills. One could only imagine what a meerkat would do in its sleep if it was taking prescription sleeping medication, and there were no cameras around to chronicle the intense cuteness. The artist’s message with this is more of an advertisement than anything holding political significance. The cartoonist is saying that the only way that major networks can continue to provide us with such fine entertainment as Meerkat Manor, is if we continue to support their sponsors, such as Ambien prescription sleeping medication.

Jobs and Gas

In this cartoon we see a woman, aged 40 to mid 50's, peeking her head out of her car window and complaining about not having a job to drive to. The woman is speaking to what appears to be her slave, or “bond servant” as he would prefer to be labeled. The bond servant appears to be pumping gas into the woman's car. However, if you look closely, you can see that the gas is not being deposited directly into the gas tank, but is pouring out from the pump and onto the concrete below. Not only does this waste a precious resource, but it also presents a safety hazard, one which is obviously intentional as is indicated by the man's raised eyebrow and darting eyes. It appears that this woman is using this man, her bond servant, as a lookout while she prepares to put the gas station up in flames. The fact that the underside of the woman's nose is singed indicates that she is a frequent smoker, and it is likely that she is lighting a cigarette in the car, as her arms are concealed. Her plan is to throw the cigarette into the trail of highly-flammable gasoline left by the bond servant, and drive away as certain death awaits any customers or employees of the gas station.
Something that the cartoonist included to further hint at the fact that this woman is in fact a criminal mastermind is the blank license plate on her vehicle. In order to prevent any chance of capture, the car has been fitted with a license plate displaying no numbers or letters, thus rendering it impossible for anyone to report her to the police considering there would be nothing to report. Other than this modern day Bonnie and bond servant Clyde, there are quite a few other details of the comic worth mentioning.
On the side of the gas pump that is being used by Clyde, the words "Diesel & Gas" are displayed, above these words is an arrow pointing to the heavens. This is referring to Sarah Palin's statements on October, saying "God has so richly blessed this land, not just with the oil and the gas, but with wind and the hydro, the geothermal and the biomass, we'll tap into those." Despite Palin mentioning tapping into “the hydro”, this quote also states that god has blessed America with “the oil” and “the gas”. The cartoonist is demonstrating republican and evangelical Christian methods on solving the oil crisis, which is to assume that if we needed more oil, than god would make it appear in our gas tanks, and drilling offshore. Considering that this is a course of action supported by the far right side of the political spectrum, it is obvious as to why the author placed this on the far right side of the cartoon.
On the other side of the cartoon we can see a sign showing the words "Gas On Sale," on this sign however three letters are obscured by the car windshield making them a slightly lighter color than the rest of the sign, these three letters are A, L, and E, spelling the word ale. This represents the far left side of the political spectrum considering that it is undeniably a reference to ethanol. In ethanol, the same type of alcohol found in alcoholic beverages is used to create fuel as an alternative to gasoline. Ethanol has received much support from democrats, and its production has been greatly increased due to this fact.
The number 87 on the side of the gas pump holds much significance as well. This is in my opinion a very self-explanatory reference; however I will go into detail to make sure that there is no misinterpretation. The 87 is a reference to an event that occurred on September 17, 1987, on this day in history, the televangelist Pat Robertson announced his candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination. Pat Robertson soon found out that people don't want a radical evangelical Christian as their president, but instead prefer a left-handed Episcopalian who would frequently comment on his hate of broccoli… George H.W. Bush. Pat Robertson was put into this cartoon by the author because he is the founder of the American Center for Law & Justice. This is an organization which protects America from threats that are “Hostile to American Values.” Considering that the cartoonist included a connection between the “Gas and Diesel” and “ale” signs, it is only logical that he would include a counterpart to the number 87, which leads me into my next point, the “Gas on Sale” sign.
The “Gas On Sale” sign has interesting, but easy to miss, significance in this cartoon. What the average viewer doesn’t realize is that the words "Gas On Sale" can easily be rearranged to form the phrase "Salsa Gone." Salsa is a type of hot sauce typical of Mexican Cuisine and is usually made with cooked tomatoes, chili peppers, onion, garlic, and cilantro, a pungent green herb. In this case however, the use of the word salsa is not in fact a reference to the delicious sauce served in packets at Taco Bell, but a reference to the illegal immigrant problem facing America, considering that 56% of illegal immigrants come from Mexico. This relates directly to the statement made by the woman in the cartoon, who says "If only we had jobs." This poor woman has had her job replaced by the cheap labor of an illegal immigrant, and now intends to get revenge by destroying this gas station. The cartoonist is making a commentary on the problems caused by illegal immigration, and presenting us with a mantra to use at our future illegal immigration rallies, the triumphant cry of "Salsa gone!"

Despite the cartoonist both disapproving of illegal immigration, and supporting crime as a means of fighting it, he seems to be a very evenhanded man. This cartoon educates the reader on both liberal and conservative viewpoints, as well as providing an in depth history lesson on Bonnie and Clyde. As the bond servant known only as Clyde enters the driver's seat of the unlicensed vehicle of justice, I can only assume that one thought crosses his mind, “That old whore will finally get what’s coming to her when she puts her lips up to that anthrax cigarette. Viva la Revolución.”

McCain Palin Dust Up

This cartoon depicts two children in costume for Halloween, one dressed as John McCain and the other dressed as Sarah Palin. A man behind them is commenting on the realism of their costumes, when in actuality he should be calling the police and an ambulance to break up the tornado of hard candy and cheap plastic occurring on his front lawn, as it appears that both children have dislocated their elbows. The artist who drew this cartoon had a special purpose in mind, and I think that it's quite obvious. The artist is making a statement about the increasing realism of Halloween costumes, and warning us of the upcoming danger if we continue in this downward spiral of increasingly realistic costumes.
A perfect example of this was written about by IowaPolitics.com in an article stating that "An Iowa woman impersonating Sarah Palin apparently made her way on stage at Republican presidential candidate John McCain's rally in Cedar Falls on Sunday and stood right behind McCain as he gave his speech, reacting to the speech like she was the real Palin." The fact that someone can dress up like someone as important as Sarah Palin, and be as convincing as the woman mentioned in the article, should be a wake up call. Imagine if this woman were to actually become the vice-president instead of the real Sarah Palin. This one event would undermine the entire democratic process, something that our ancestors have fought and died for. The creator of this cartoon is calling for the abolition of Halloween as a national holiday.
Ever since the beginning, Halloween has been about satanic rituals and human sacrifice. The now popular witch costumes used to be the appropriate attire of Druids when conducting human sacrifice during the Celtic festival of of Samhain, the festival that Halloween originated from. This is what the artist of the carton is depicting when he shows the child dressed as Palin beating the crap out of the child dressed as McCain. It is a well known fact, and a popular YouTube video, that Sarah Palin received protection from her pastor to "Rebuke her from witchcraft" and this cartoon shows the problems with the ancient rituals of the Celtic culture that we still blindly follow today.
This cartoon also shows the problems that people with impaired vision have functioning in the real world. As you can see the man standing at the door is wearing glasses, he represents Americans with vision problems. He is remarking on how much the children in the cartoon look like John McCain and Sarah Palin, however he is seeing them from the back. If he had normal eyesight and properly functioning glasses he could see that the girl wearing the Sarah Palin costume actually has black hair, and that the boy dressed as John McCain has a full head of blonde hair which is about as far away from the real appearance of John McCain's scalp as you can get. In addition the height of the children should be an obvious indication that they do not, in any possible way, come close to the actual appearance of Sarah Palin and John McCain. The man in the cartoon also seems to be unable to locate the bowl of candy to give to the trick or treaters, while to a person like you or me can easily see that it is on his right side at his feet. This may have been what spurred such a dispute between the children in the first place, when unable to receive candy from the man at the door the girl dressed as Sarah Palin turned and started brutally attacking the boy dressed as John McCain. This attack has so far resulted in four pieces of candy spilling out of the boy's candy bag, which I can only assume the girl will take for herself once her barrage of punches is complete.
The artist wrote the word "Saks" on the side of the girl's candy bag, limited by the space available he had to settle for this misspelling of the word instead of the preferable "Sacks" which would refer to the well known Australian actor Martin Sacks. Martin Sacks played the role of Detective P.J. Hasham in the 1994 television series "Blue Heelers." In 2005 however he left the show to spend time with his growing family, which consisted of his wife Kate and two children Jack and Ned. The artist who drew this cartoon is stressing the importance of family by placing the word "Saks" on the side of the bag that the girl is holding. Sarah Palin has an especially large family and is seen by many people as a family woman, although subtle I think that it is a nice touch that the cartoonist put this reference into the cartoon.
The symbol on the boy's bag is a bat, this is making the comparison of John McCain to batman. Interestingly enough when asked by Entertainment Weekly in August which superhero he would be, McCain responded "Batman." To justify his answer, John McCain said "He does justice sometimes against insurmountable odds. And he doesn't make his good works known to a lot of people, so a lot of people think he's just a rich playboy." In my opinion, the similarities are obvious.
Lastly I would like to comment on the importance that is placed on the volume of the man's voice. Every sentence that leaves his mouth ends with an exclamation point, stressing the annoyance that can be caused by loud next door neighbors. In a poll conducted by the Washington Post, results indicated that 50% of readers said that loud neighbors were the most annoying possible thing. The cartoonist is clearly demonstrating how annoying loud neighbors can be, and by showing the two children fighting, the anger and sheer amount of rage that it can cause in others as well.
This cartoon invokes both a sense of fear and compassion into the reader. The cartoonist is warning us of the dangers of the popular holiday Halloween, and at the same time showing us the challenges that individuals with impaired vision must face every day. If this wasn't enough, there is a sense of compassion and security that the reader feels, knowing the value of family, and the comfort of knowing that there is a man out there with pointy ears and a utility belt that will come in handy no matter what the situation. They may have lost the election, but John McCain will never cease to be commander in chief of my heart, and Sarah Palin will never lose her place as next in line for when that heart stops beating.